Soldiers by Necessity
by Leesa Perrie
Summary: Season Three, set after McKay and Mrs Miller, so beware spoilers for the season up to then. A Carson and Rodney story. Whilst lost and alone, they come face to face with a wraith.
1. Chapter One: Lost

**Soldiers by Necessity**

**By Leesa Perrie**

_Set Season Three – sometime after 'McKay and Mrs Miller' – beware spoilers_

**Chapter One – Lost**

The Wraith stood in front of them, smiling, if that could be called smiling.

"Oh crap," Beckett said, fumbling for his 9 mil.

Rodney had already brought his gun up to bear on the creature facing them. It moved closer, and he fired. Each bullet hitting the Wraith in the chest. Dead centre. Carson was surprised. He had rarely seen Rodney firing, and the last two times Rodney had panicked. One time he had winged the Colonel…okay, the Colonel had been taken over by another consciousness at the time…but it was still Sheppard. The other time he'd been spooked by a rat. This, however, this was steady, accurate and deadly.

"Carson, some help," McKay's voice brought him back to the present, realising that McKay was reloading, and the Wraith had started moving in closer again. Damn, what did it take to kill one of these things? He aimed his gun, and started firing. Not dead centre, but the Wraith was so close now, even he couldn't fail to hit it.

And then Rodney's gun joined his. And the Wraith fell. And didn't get up.

"We need to get out of here," McKay said, panic flaring in his eyes, and voice rising an octave or two with fear.

"Aye."

They turned and headed away from the fallen Wraith, running through the caves, hoping the tunnel they were following would lead outside. He was aware of McKay on the radio, calling to Sheppard, Teyla and Ronon, telling them of their run in with the Wraith.

The cave system was used by the locals of this world to hide when a culling occurred, but this time it hadn't helped them. When Sheppard's team had arrived here to renegotiate a long-standing trade agreement, they had found the two villages deserted. Teyla had sensed no Wraith, and Sheppard had asked for a team to join them to look for survivors. And for a doctor, meaning him. He really needed to stop going off world, except that he was unwilling to let any of his staff go in his place.

So, they had looked for survivors. And the search had led to the cave system. A rock fall had separated Rodney and himself from the others, and only Carson's quick reflexes had pushed Rodney out of danger. As if things weren't bad enough, Teyla had started to sense Wraith in the area, and the life signs detector was buried under a pile of rocks, so they had no way of checking for them. Sheppard had told them to keep an eye out for trouble, whilst the team tried to find another way to get to them. Rodney and he had followed the tunnel they were in, hoping to find an exit. Instead they had found a Wraith.

"Light," Rodney hissed, somewhat out of breath.

"What?"

"There's a light ahead. Maybe an exit."

"Good," he, too, was panting from running.

They continued to run towards the light, but as they got closer Rodney suddenly stopped, and Carson ran into his back, nearly toppling the astrophysicist to the ground.

"What the… Rodney…" Carson started.

Then Rodney was holding his gun up, aiming at something Carson wasn't able to see. Only whatever it was, was upon them. Carson only had a moment to realise it was another Wraith, as it grabbed Rodney and threw him violently into a wall. And then it pushed him down, grabbing the gun from his hands before he had time to aim it, throwing it into the same wall as Rodney.

"No," he whispered, fear paralysing him as the Wraith held up its hand, ready to push down onto his chest and start feeding from him.

There was a shot, and then another, and the Wraith pulled away, turning to face McKay, who kept shooting. Carson realised that Rodney had both of their guns, and when one was empty, he brought the other one up and continued shooting. The Wraith fell, dying, dead. Carson pulled himself up, and headed towards McKay. As he got closer, he could see he was in pain, and cradling his left arm against his chest.

"Rodney." He sat next to his friend.

"Ow…" Rodney's eyes were closed against the pain, "this is…so unfair."

"Oh crap." Carson said, reaching for Rodney's arm, "let me see it."

"Think… it's broken," McKay hissed.

"Let me check it out."

"No, guns. Reload the guns first." Rodney grimaced, "and contact Sheppard."

Okay, that made sense he guessed. He quickly grabbed both guns and reloaded them, grateful that they had had more than one spare clip each. He then radioed Sheppard to update him on their situation, even though there was little the Colonel could do right now, except keep looking for them.

He then grabbed some supplies out of his med kit and gently took Rodney's arm, checking the radial pulse, which fortunately was still strong. Rodney tried not to cry out, instead finding release in low level cursing, some of which he was amused to hear sounded suspiciously like Czech. He gave Rodney something to take the edge off the pain and then splinted the arm, strapping it securely to Rodney's chest. There was little else he could do until they got back to Atlantis.

"Okay, I've done," he said, "are you injured anywhere else?"

"Just bruises…" Rodney said through gritted teeth. "Got to get out of here."

"Aye, let me help you up."

Rodney wasn't too steady on his feet at first, but regained his balance after a few moments.

"Give me one of the guns. I can still shoot with my good hand."

"You sure? I've seen your shooting."

"Been practising."

"You have?" he asked, handing him a gun.

"Never know when you're going to be down to one hand, even been practising shooting with my left." Rodney smiled grimly, and headed towards the light. Carson followed closely, keeping an eye out for more Wraith.

The cave opened onto a plateau, so fortunately there was no need to climb down anything, and about thirty metres from the cave exit was the start of the forest that covered most of this area. Not that he knew which way led to the stargate, having had no way of keeping track of their direction due to the twists and turns of the cave system they had just exited. He decided to ask Rodney, just in case he'd had more luck.

"Rodney, any idea which way to the gate?"

"You're kidding, right?" Rodney responded, "those tunnels twisted about so much, we could be anywhere."

"Aye, that was what I was thinking myself," he sighed, before contacting Sheppard again, letting him know they had found an exit, and asking for advice, which basically amounted to find a defensible position and staying put until the team were able to find them. The Colonel didn't want them to get lost in the forest, and as he and the others were working their way around the mountains, they should come across the two of them eventually.

Rodney looked less than pleased at this, but with no way of knowing which direction the stargate lay, there wasn't really a lot of choice in the matter. Getting lost in the forest would be a bad idea.

They were looking for a defensible position, both keenly aware that they didn't have much ammunition left, maybe enough to take out one more Wraith, two if they were lucky. Though, if they were lucky, no more Wraith would find them.

It became a moot point though, when a dart came screaming over the mountain, scooping them up before they had a chance to hide.

* * *

Rodney came round, to find himself lying on a floor. Studying his surroundings told him two things; one, he was in a Wraith cell, and two, Carson was lying nearby and starting to regain consciousness.

Oh, this was bad. Very bad. Still, a cell was better than one of the cocoons. At least there was a chance of escaping from a cell, whereas not from a cocoon. Not unless you happened to be Ronon and carried several hundred knives on you. Well, okay, maybe not hundreds, but…

Okay, that wasn't helping any. He struggled into a sitting position, hampered by his left arm. So, stuck in a cell on a Wraith ship, most likely a hive ship. Could be worse, well, not by much, but it _could _be worse. Could also be an awful lot better.

If he could get out of the cell, he could cause damage to the ship's systems. He'd learned a lot from the hive ship they had captured, even in the short while they had had it for. And maybe, if they were extremely lucky, they could grab a dart and he could, possibly, work out how to fly it, maybe. Okay, that was a lot of maybes, but it was possible. Maybe. After all, he was a genius.

"Rodney…" Carson struggled into a sitting position, "you alright?"

"Alright? Oh, I'm just fine! Broken arm, pain. Sitting in a Wraith cell, waiting to be fed on, but, you know, other than that…did I mention the pain?"

"Rodney!" Carson interrupted him, and then added, "sorry, stupid question."

"You think?" he closed his eyes briefly, reining in his terror, "sorry, not having a good day."

"Aye, neither am I," Beckett agreed.

There was the sound of footsteps approaching.

"Oh crap." Rodney looked round wildly, "that's not good. Damn it, I was hoping there might be time to figure out a way out of the cell before they came…"

The person standing outside of their cell, flanked by two drones, was not who they were expecting to see.

"Oh crap," Carson breathed, "Michael."

"Dr Beckett, Dr McKay, so nice to see you again," Michael said, though the tone was more menacing than polite.

"Um, and so _not_ nice to see you again," Rodney said, "thought you were dead. Pity you're not."

"Ah, the bombardment on the camp was very effective, only myself and three others survived it. The hive picked us up after the destruction of your hive ship. I didn't believe you had died with it. I was right."

"Is this just some sort of unhappy coincidence, or some part of a plan?" McKay asked, "because I don't think even _our_ luck could be this bad. What do you want?"

"It was not coincidence. I was able to gain the location of some of the worlds you regularly trade with from Dr Beckett last time we met. I merely waited for one of those worlds to be culled. I knew that you would search for survivors, and that there was a good chance the doctor here would be one of those searching. It was an added bonus that we were able to take you as well, Dr McKay. Though anyone would probably have done."

Michael opened the cell, entering it with the drones, who grabbed McKay, pulling him to his feet, and then pinning him against the wall. He cried out when they jostled his arm, just managing to choke off a scream.

"Leave him alone," Carson said, standing. Michael approached him, and it took all of Beckett's will power not to cower back from him.

"As to what I want, Doctor; the retro-virus. You are going to show me how to produce it, and," he paused, moving closer to Carson, "you are going to work on perfecting it, so that the change is permanent."

"No bloody way."

Michael turned away and approached Rodney. The drones held him against the wall, keeping his arms to one side.

"Then you will get to watch Dr McKay die. Slowly and painfully."

Without warning, Michael pushed his hand onto Rodney's chest. This time he was unable to hold back the screams, as pain flowed through his chest and through his body, like fire. He was vaguely aware of Carson's cries to stop in the background. And, as suddenly as it started, it was over. Michael drew back, turning to face the shocked physician.

"I have only taken a few weeks, this time. But next time, be assured that I will take more. It is up to you, Dr Beckett, as to whether there is a next time or not. I will leave you to think about it."

With that, the drones let go of Rodney, who collapsed to the floor, and they were left alone in the cell. Carson rushed to his side.

"Rodney…"

He wanted to respond, to let Carson know it was okay, but he could hardly breathe. The pain was beyond anything he could ever have imagined. Oh crap, make it stop. Please make it stop. He wasn't aware that the pleas were verbal.

For a while there was nothing but the pain, overriding everything, but slowly it started to recede, and he was aware of Carson's voice, talking to him, trying to reassure him, telling him to just hang on. After a while, he realised that he was leaning against Carson, who was holding him tightly to his own chest, and apologising. Blaming himself for making the retro-virus, for testing it, creating Michael, for this.

"Not… your… fault…" he managed to say. "Don't… blame… you…"

"Back with me, Rodney?"

"Yeah," he felt weak, drained. Literally. "How do I look?"

"He took a few weeks from you, not even a year. At least that's what he said. Anyway, you don't look any older."

"Hate… to think… what it'd be like… if he took more…"

"I'm not going to let that happen."

"You can't… give him what… he wants." He closed his eyes, "at least…not without… knowing more… like why he wants… it."

"I'm not going to sit by and watch him torture you! It was bad enough with Sheppard…"

He opened his eyes, grabbing one of Carson's hands. He wanted to look him in the face, but moving that much just wasn't on the agenda right then.

"Carson… you can't…" he stopped, thinking about his next words, "you need… to find out… why he wants the virus… why he wants you… to complete it. Even then… I don't think… you should give him… what he wants."

"I'll ask him why he wants the retro-virus. But I won't watch you die, Rodney. Don't ask me to do that. I can't."

"Carson…"

"No, Rodney. End of discussion." He heard, and felt, Carson sigh, "bloody idiot, you've been hanging around with Sheppard too much, picked up his stupid self-sacrificing heroics. Doesn't suit you."

"Believe me… I really don't want to get hurt… really, I don't. But…"

"No buts."

"Damn stubborn Scot…" he mumbled.

"Anyway, to start with, I could stall him. And even if that doesn't work for long, showing him how to produce the retro-virus will take days. As for trying to find a way to make the effects permanent, I have no idea how long that will take. But I'll be buying us time."

"Time for what?"

"Either for a heroic rescue, or a heroic escape. Really, right now, I don't care which one it is."

"Escape," he said, "it's unlikely… anyone will be… able to locate us… to rescue us."

"Okay, so escape," Carson shook him slightly, "and that's another reason not to let Michael drain any more life from you. You think I stand a chance of escaping without you? You're the expert on Wraith technology, not me."

"Flattery…"

"Will get me everywhere, when it concerns one Dr Rodney McKay, PhD." Carson finished.

He snorted at that, and then groaned.

"Please… don't make me… laugh…"

"Sorry."

"Okay… you stall him… and I'll try and think… of some brilliant… escape plan."

"I'd take a not so brilliant escape plan, just so long as it works. Now, let me see to that arm again, and check out the wounds on your chest."

He sighed, but didn't argue. He knew there was little point in it, and his injuries did need seeing to, as best as possible without a first aid kit. He distracted himself from the pain as much as possible by trying to figure out a plan of escape.


	2. Chapter Two: Virus

**Chapter Two – Virus **

It was over an hour later when Michael returned. Rodney hadn't been able to work out how to escape from the cell yet. He had bemoaned the fact he didn't have a whole slew of knives to throw at the door controls across the corridor. Apparently, this was how Sheppard and the others had escaped the cell on the hive ship they had gone to with Ford. Carson personally didn't think it would have made any difference, not being sure how good his own aim would be, and doubting Rodney would be able to aim properly at the moment.

"Have you decided, Dr Beckett, the fate of Dr McKay?"

"I'll do what you want, so long as you don't harm him."

"I knew you would see reason."

"Why do you want the retro-virus?" Rodney asked.

"Why do you think, Dr McKay?"

"For food? Or some other reason?"

"Food will be the main use for it. But I also wish to build an army of Wraith such as myself. If I am to be rejected by other Wraith, then I will need more than just the three others such as myself and a handful of drones to survive. And more than just this cruiser. For those who are strong of mind, I would allow them to revert and join me, those weak of mind would be given the strain of virus to cause a permanent change in them. Keeping them as humans without the need of drugs, until they are required for food."

"So, you turn other Wraith into food or creatures like yourself, and then what?"

"We survive."

"Oh, is that all? Somehow I doubt that. You must have some longer term plans than just that." Rodney said, adding snidely, "or is survival all that you're capable of now?"

"You would be wise not to provoke me, Dr McKay."

"Ah, but if you hurt me, Carson won't help you." Rodney said triumphantly.

"Hurt and pain can last a long time before death. Though I'm sure I can find other ways to gain Dr Beckett's help should you annoy me too greatly. In fact, with enough time, I am sure I can gain the information I need directly from his mind. It was a pity that the two days I held him was not enough time to do so."

Carson paled at the mention of the time spent as Michael's prisoner at the camp. Rodney, fortunately, had realised his mistake and shut up. Good, he thought. Maybe if Rodney could control that mouth of his, they'd stand a chance of surviving this with no further injuries… and without him having Michael inside his mind again.

"Now, Dr Beckett, if you will come with me." Michael gestured out of the cell, and then turned his attention back to Rodney, "and you, Dr McKay, will be moved to a cocoon for safe keeping. After all, with your skills and expertise, I can't risk you attempting to escape."

"Um, really, is that necessary? It's just, I have some bad memories associated with those things. You don't honestly think I'd be able to escape?"

"I do not intend to underestimate you."

"He could help me," Carson suggested quickly, seeing how badly Rodney was effected by the idea of a cocoon, "I mean, he could help translate things into the Wraith language, and help me with your medical equipment. I'm assuming it will be different to what I'm accustomed to using." He watched Michael, hoping that he would buy it. It was partially true. Rodney could help things go faster, or in this case, he would be helpful in slowing things down.

"Very well," Michael said, "he will come to the lab with us. But if he causes any trouble, or I believe he is not helping, he will be moved to a cocoon."

Rodney threw Carson a relieved look. Hopefully, with him still loose, so to speak, he would be able to work out a way for them to escape.

* * *

Two days had passed since finding themselves on Michael's ship. Two days of appearing to cooperate, but in fact stall for time. Fortunately, Rodney had been able to find excuses for being allowed to help Carson, with help from Carson himself, and so far had not been thrown into a cocoon… or worse.

He was also, carefully, accessing computer systems. It was difficult to do so without drawing attention, there was always either Michael or one of the other three apparently nameless survivors from the camp watching Carson and himself working. But he was managing to make some progress, though nothing that would help them to escape as of yet.

It was only a matter of time before Carson would have to start doing more, he could tell that Michael was getting impatient, and was perhaps suspecting their delaying tactics. Oh, who was he kidding? He was sure Michael was well aware that they were stalling, but so far seemed disinclined to interfere. But he had to admit to being worried about what would happen when Michael's patience ran out. He had a feeling it might not bode well for himself.

Matters were not helped by his broken arm. It hurt like mad, and there was no pain relief to be had. At least Michael had allowed Carson to set it, even providing the necessary materials for a primitive cast. But it was awkward and clumsy, and it was slowing him down. And it was painful. The marks on his chest still ached as well. Both he and Carson were waking from nightmares caused by that feeding. Carson was also plagued by nightmares caused by Michael's probing of his mind at the camp. All in all, they weren't getting a lot of sleep. And that wasn't exactly helping matters either.

He moved over to where Carson was working, as Michael entered the lab, motioning to the Wraith who was watching them. Rodney had no idea what the motion meant, but he had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. A very bad feeling.

"Dr Beckett," Michael said, "I am getting impatient. When will the retro-virus be ready?"

"Not just yet," Carson replied, not looking Michael in the eyes, but remaining hunched over his work, "it takes time to produce, especially as you want me to document the process as well."

The other Wraith approached Rodney, and he instinctively moved back from it. And backed into the grip of a drone he hadn't noticed coming up behind him. He gave a squeak of alarm, before pushing his fear down.

"What are you doing?" Carson demanded.

"Just reminding you that Dr McKay's life is in your hands. I believe you have been… taking your time… and that is not acceptable."

The Wraith who had been watching them, placed his hand onto Rodney's chest, but did not harm him or start to feed.

"How much should I allow him to take, Dr Beckett? A year, maybe two?"

"Don't!" Carson cried in fear, "please, don't."

"Tomorrow, Dr Beckett. If you have not completed the retro-virus by the end of tomorrow, Dr McKay will lose a year of his life. And each day another year until it is finished. How long do you think he will last, doctor?"

Michael turned a predatory gaze onto Rodney, and motioned for the Wraith and drone to release him, and then left.

Carson moved over to Rodney.

"Are you…"

"If you ask me if I'm okay I might have to award you the prize for the Person Who Asks the Most Stupidest Questions." He looked at Carson, "he didn't hurt me. Not this time, but…"

"Aye, I think the time for stalling is over."

Carson returned to his work, occasionally casting concerned looks his way. This sucked. Totally and completely sucked. Time was running out. He had to find a way to access the ship's systems more quickly.

An idea hit him. Why hadn't he thought of it earlier?

Probably because he was so wrapped up in trying to stall Michael and his crew, as well as survive, that he hadn't been thinking through all of their options.

He needed to talk to Carson tonight, but in the meantime, he would concentrate on trying to get those overrides into the ship's systems. The drone had left, so there was just the one Wraith watching them now, and at the moment his attention was on Beckett.

No time like the present, then. And if the Wraith wondered what he was doing, he would cover by translating Carson's work into the Wraith language. He wasn't going to kid himself, there were still a lot of ifs and maybes, but at least he had a plan.

If only his stupid arm didn't keep getting in his way, damn it…

* * *

Rodney slumped against the wall of their cell, and Carson slumped down next to him.

"I have a plan," Rodney said, "not a brilliant one, but it should work."

"About time," Carson grumbled. Seeing the Wraith come close to feeding off Rodney again had shook him up more than he wanted to admit to, and he couldn't help shake the feeling this was all is fault, despite Rodney's assertions otherwise. Fortunately, Rodney decided to ignore his bad mood.

"Will you have the retro-virus ready tomorrow?"

"Of course I will. There's no way I'm going to let them hurt you…"

"I know." Rodney cut him off. "What form is it? Injection or gas?"

"Injection."

"Good. Okay, sometimes they have just one Wraith watching us, let's hope that's the case tomorrow after the virus is ready. I'll cause a minor blow out of the computer console I'm using for the translations, and you stick the Wraith with the virus."

"What?"

"Inject the Wraith. It will put him out of commission and we can grab his stunner. Then it's just a case of stunning the other Wraith on board. Well, everyone except whoever is piloting the ship. That one will need to be persuaded to drop us out of hyperspace, preferably somewhere safe. Neither of us can pilot the ship, and Teyla isn't here with her Wraith DNA to do it for us. I'd rather not be flying blind in hyperspace."

"That…sounds damn risky," he said quietly.

"Yes, well, as I said, not a brilliant plan, but unless you have any other ideas?"

"No, I don't," he sighed, "are you sure we can persuade the pilot to do what we want?"

"Hopefully his self preservation instincts will kick in. I'd take flying blind over being prisoner, and it's not like we have a lot to lose. I doubt Michael is going to keep us alive once he has what he wants."

"I guess not. And not much chance of him releasing us either."

"Huh, no chance of that." Rodney huffed. "We know there are four male Wraith, but I'm not sure how many drones. They all look alike to me, and just because we haven't seen more than three together at one time, doesn't mean there aren't more of them."

"So, we can't be sure we have got them all."

"Which means I need you to watch my back once we drop out of hyperspace. I'll need to work on gaining some sort of control over the ship."

"Lovely," he said.

"We'd better try to get some sleep. You'd think they could provide a bed, instead of making us sleep on this floor," Rodney grumped.

They settled down, making themselves as comfortable as possible, which wasn't much. Rodney fell asleep quickly, but Carson couldn't drift off. He was plagued by guilt and doubts. Worried about all the things that could go wrong the next day, and the consequences of their escape attempt if it failed. He had no doubt Rodney would suffer if they didn't succeed. And he really didn't want to watch his friend be fed on again.

Eventually, sleep took over, but it was an uneasy sleep for both of them, disturbed by nightmares and fear.

* * *

It actually only took Carson a couple of hours to complete the virus, and he let Rodney know by a prearranged signal once he was ready with the injection.

The explosion did the trick, drawing the Wraith's attention away from Beckett, who was able to give the injection. The Wraith fell to the ground straight away, and Rodney grabbed the stunner, using it to stun the Wraith into oblivion. For now, anyway.

A drone rushed into the lab, alerted by the noise, and was stunned by Rodney. Carson grabbed the second stunner, and they made their way through the ship. It turned out to be quite easy to take out the other Wraith they came across. Apparently, they had underestimated the humans.

Rodney counted three males and three drones taken out, at least temporarily, as they headed to the flight deck. He hoped there weren't many more drones. Michael had said a handful, so hopefully that meant there weren't many more.

He took out another drone as they entered the flight deck, and approached Michael, who was piloting the ship.

"Carson, keep an eye out for more drones," he ordered, indicating the corridor outside the flight deck.

"Right," Carson moved into position.

"And you," he said, looking at Michael, "you're going to find a nice safe spot to bring us out of hyperspace in."

"Why should I do that, Dr McKay?"

"Because if you don't, I'll stun you. And then we'll be flying blind. I don't know whether this ship will drop out of hyperspace when it needs to recover, or whether it will continue until it is destroyed. Nor do I know where it will decide to enter real space if it does drop out of hyperspace on its own. It could drop us into a sun, for all I know. And right now, I really don't care. Dead is still dead, whether it's now or later. And don't try to convince us you won't kill us when we are no longer of use to you, because, sorry, but I won't believe you."

Michael looked annoyed, to say the least, but turned to the controls.

"Very well," he said, bringing up a display of the area of space they were in. He pointed to some coordinates, "as you can see, that area is empty. It is close to a Wraith territory, but I believe far enough outside to avoid any contact."

"Good," he said, splitting his attention between the display and Michael.

"It will take fifty minutes to reach that area."

"Well, okay. You try anything, though, and I will stun you, and take my chances without a pilot."

"Rodney, how long will the stun work on the Wraith?" Carson asked from the doorway.

"Damn, I'm not sure." He thought for a moment, "bring up your internal life signs detector, or whatever you call it."

Michael did as he was asked.

"Okay, so it looks like we got them all. Right, that's something. Carson, you need to go and stun them all again and move them to a cell."

"Wonderful." Carson muttered, "sure you can handle him on your own?"

"Not much choice, is there? Can't risk them waking up and storming us. Besides, I have the stunner. And I don't think he's stupid enough to try anything whilst we're still in hyperspace. Just make sure you're back here before we drop out of it."

Carson left, and Rodney turned all of his attention to Michael.

"Do you really think you will succeed, Dr McKay?"

"I've been known to succeed against far greater odds than this," he said, knowing he was sweating from fear, but pushing it down ruthlessly. They had to succeed.

"If you give this up now…"

"What? You'll overlook our escape attempt? You won't torture or kill me? Won't invade Carson's mind to get what you want from him? What?"

"I will allow you to live."

"Yeah, sure," he snorted in scorn, "and if I believe that, then I need my head examining!"

"If you continue with this, you will fail. And I will harm you. But if you give up now, I assure you that you will not be harmed."

"Nope, not listening."

"Dr McKay…"

"No!" he shouted, "shut up, or…" and then he smiled grimly, "or I'll make sure Carson injects you with the retro-virus again. I'm sure you'd just love that, wouldn't you?"

Michael glowered at him, but fell silent all the same.


	3. Chapter Three: Communication

**Chapter Three – Communication**

There was about eight minutes left before dropping out of hyperspace, when Carson returned to the flight deck. He was pulling the Wraith he had injected the virus into with him.

"Carson, what are you doing?"

"Bringing him somewhere I can keep an eye on him." He said.

"Carson…"

"No, Rodney, I gave him the injection, he is my responsibility. And if I leave him with the others, they are quite liable to kill him."

"Carson, look…"

"Shut up, Rodney." He checked the Wraith over, noticing the changes that had already occurred. He'd known Rodney would be annoyed, but he had a responsibility to his patients, even when they were the enemy. And in a few hours, this one would no longer be much of a threat anyway.

"Damn doctor," he heard Rodney mutter, but he didn't interfere, for which Carson was grateful. Once he had checked his patient out, he moved over to join Rodney, pointing his stunner at Michael.

"How you holding up?" he asked Rodney.

"Oh, fine. He seems to think we're going to fail and should just give up, throw ourselves on his mercy, or some such crap. I said no. Hope you don't mind."

"No. I don't think throwing ourselves on his mercy would be a good choice," he glanced at Rodney, noticing a sheen of sweat on his face, and a paleness to his skin that was not good. His hands were beginning to shake slightly as well. Oh crap. He thought back to when they had last eaten, and suddenly realised that he wasn't sure if Rodney had eaten any of the breakfast that had been provided a few hours earlier. Which probably meant he hadn't eaten since the day before. He sighed, in frustration, but there was little point in mentioning anything to Rodney just now. Even he realised that revealing weakness in front of the enemy wasn't a good idea.

"How long until we're back in real space?" He asked instead.

"Three minutes, more or less." Rodney answered, not taking his eyes off of Michael.

"Good."

Time passed slowly, but eventually they entered real space. He sighed in relief, and then jumped as Rodney stunned Michael, three times. And then slumped down against one of the consoles.

"Rodney…"

"I'm okay, just tired," Rodney looked at him, smiling wanly, "I've just spent the last fifty or so minutes waiting for him to do something sneaky. Can't tell you how glad I am that that is over."

"I can imagine," he replied, bending down to check Rodney's vitals.

"Carson…" Rodney moaned, slapping his hands away.

"Now, now, why don't you just humour me for a minute here?" he said, continuing with his checks, "and just when did you last eat something?"

"Yesterday." Rodney admitted reluctantly, "didn't feel hungry this morning. Don't know why, nerves usually have the opposite affect on me. Been feeling a bit off. Didn't want to worry you."

"Och, you bloody idiot! You mean to say…."

"Carson," Rodney interrupted him, "we had to make our move today," he looked down, embarrassed, "I… er… think the chest wounds are… maybe… infected a little."

"Damn it, Rodney!" He immediately started to check his wounds, but Rodney pushed his hands away.

"I couldn't exactly pop to the pharmacy for antibiotics, could I? Look, Carson…" he sighed, "you need to get Michael down to the cell. Give them all another stun or two to be on the safe side. And make sure he," Rodney nodded towards the Wraith/human, "is stunned as well. Then…then you can check my wounds, okay? We can't take the risk of them getting loose…"

"Damn it…"

"No, listen to me, make sure the prisoners are secure and out of it, then…then check me over. I can wait a few more minutes."

"Och, you're a stubborn fool," he said, "fine. But you stay put until I get back."

"I will." Rodney lied.

"You're a terrible liar," Carson said.

"So I've been told. Look, we don't have time for me to take things easy. I need to at least get subspace communications working for us."

"Just… be careful. I don't want to come back and find that you've fainted…"

"Passed out…"

"Whatever. I mean it, Rodney."

"Okay, okay, I'll take it slow." Rodney gave a huff of laughter, "not like I can go too fast anyway, with this damn arm slowing me down. How do you feel about being my new left hand?"

"Not particularly looking forward to it, but I guess I don't have much choice. I'll be as quick as I can."

"Good."

* * *

Rodney made an effort to pull himself together, and started working on the subspace communications, but he soon realised that he needed two hands to get anywhere, this being more complicated than trying to install overrides into the ship's systems. Something which had proved to be a waste of his time in the end, as he hadn't been able to do as much on the console in the lab as he had hoped.

He sat down and waited for Carson to return. He really wasn't feeling too good now, but he had to try and keep it together. There was no way Carson could get them out of this fix on his own. No, it was down to him to get them out of here. With Carson's help, they stood a chance. But not if he collapsed.

He wasn't aware that he had fallen asleep until he felt a hand shaking him gently.

"Rodney," it was Carson, he realised, "hate to do this, but you need to eat something."

"Hmm," he opened his eyes, and sat up. He felt nauseous, and the food Carson offered him really did _not _look very appetising. "No, I need get the communications working for us…"

"True, but you also need to eat. I suspect your blood sugar levels are dropping. Bad enough your wounds seem to be infected without hypoglycaemia kicking it as well."

"Oh," he blinked, "okay."

The food was every bit as unappetising as it looked, and he had to work hard to force it down. The water Carson also offered him was much more welcome. Once he had eaten, Carson helped him up, and they started working on the communications.

It was very slow and very frustrating for both of them. Rodney found himself annoyed at how basic his instructions to Carson had to be, and frustrated because he could do it so much faster if only he had both his hands to work with. Carson was struggling to understand Rodney's instructions, as he tended to assume certain things that caused Carson to misinterpret them. Not to mention Rodney's bad mood was pissing Carson off, causing them to gripe at each other. After all, Carson was doing his best, but he was a doctor not an engineer or physicist, damn it.

Every hour, Carson would check on the prisoners and stun them again. He also checked on the Wraith/human on the flight deck, stunning him whenever he showed any signs of coming round. Rodney would take the time to rest. He knew Carson was getting worried about the infection, but he didn't feel much worse than that morning, so it seemed to be slow rather than fast moving.

He was concerned by Carson's need to look after the Wraith/human. He understood that Carson felt responsible for him, but… he just had a feeling this was going to end badly. It had taken Carson some time to really forgive Sheppard for giving the order to destroy the camp, and to forgive Rodney for carrying that order out. Intellectually Carson knew there hadn't been time to rescue any of the dewraithified humans, but it had still taken time for him to come to terms with their actions.

He also knew Carson carried a lot of guilt about creating the retro-virus in the first place. It had ended up being used in ways he wasn't happy about, and had so far caused more harm than good. It was like Hoff, but on a bigger scale. And he knew Carson was blaming himself for their present predicament, despite his attempts to persuade him otherwise. He only hoped Carson would get some help when they returned to Atlantis. He had no doubts he'd be seeing Dr Heightmeyer himself after being fed on. Probably be ordered to anyway. Damn, that whole being fed on thing was going to give him nightmares for some time to come, he was certain. He only hoped Carson would be sensible enough to go and see her as well.

It took over five hours to get the communications working for them. He almost wished Teyla was there, with her Wraith DNA, to make things easier. Almost, but not really.

He was preparing to open communications, when the long range scanners clicked on.

"Oh no," he muttered, checking them to make sure he was reading the information correctly.

"What's wrong?"

"Hive ship, heading our way."

"Oh crap. How long until it gets here?"

"About… four and a half hours." Rodney closed his eyes briefly. "Okay, contact Atlantis. Maybe the Daedalus will be able to get to us first, though I'm not too sure where it will be right now. Hopefully it should be almost back to Atlantis, which I estimate is about four hours away."

"Let's hope that's the case," said Carson.

"Atlantis, this is Dr McKay. Can you here me? If you can, both Carson and myself could do with some assistance."

There was no response.

"Is it not working?" Carson asked.

"I don't know… they might be worried it's some kind of Wraith trap. After all, we have been compromised."

He tried again.

"Atlantis, if you're hearing this, we could really do with some help here. We were kidnapped by Michael and a small group of Wraith, but have been able to take control of the cruiser we are on. That is to say, control in the most loosest of terms. Other than the long range scanners the only thing I've got working for us is communications. And about that long range scanner, it's showing a hive ship heading our way. It'll take about four and a half hours to get here, and we really wouldn't like to be here when it arrives." He then gave them their coordinates and signed off, hoping for some sort of response. Several minutes passed, and both Carson and himself were beginning to think Atlantis hadn't heard them.

"Dr McKay, Dr Beckett, this is Colonel Caldwell on the Daedalus."

"Colonel, you have no idea how relieved we are to hear you." Rodney shared a smile with Carson.

"Be advised that we are on our way, however we will be cutting it close to get to you before the hive ship does."

"Not too close, I hope," he said, "as far as we can tell Michael has kept the fact that Atlantis is still intact to himself this time, but I wouldn't expect that to last. Not to mention what they might do to us…"

"We will do everything in our power to reach you in time, doctors. But it would be a good idea if you could get weapons working for you."

"I don't think I can do that in time. I'm not working at full speed here…"

"He has a broken left arm." Carson interjected, "and even with my help, acting as his left hand, so to speak, it has taken a lot longer than it should have just to get communications up and running… he also had some infected wounds…"

"Yes, yes, all that." Rodney snapped, "we'll do what we can, Colonel."

"Good. We'll have a medical team standing by when we arrive. Is Dr Beckett injured as well?"

"No, just me," he smiled wryly at that.

"Can you tell me what Michael wanted with you?"

"He wanted the retro-virus, and threatened Rodney if I didn't show them how to make it for themselves. He even…"

"Yes, well, what he did isn't important right now," Rodney interrupted, throwing Carson a look, "what is important is making sure this ship and its crew don't end up in Wraith hands. As much as I hate to say this, but if you can't get here in time, I may need to destroy this ship," he sighed, "I really can't believe I just said that."

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that. I assume I don't have to tell you to wait until the last possible moment before blowing yourselves up?" Caldwell said.

"No, you don't, but thanks anyway. Did Sheppard and the others get back okay?"

"Yes, they returned safely to Atlantis and have not stopped looking since. I am relaying this conversation to them as we talk."

"Oh, well, I'm glad they made it back okay. Look, if I'm going to try and get weapons up and running then I'd better get on with it…"

"Understood. Caldwell out."

He turned to look at Carson.

"So, left hand?"

"You think we have a chance at succeeding in time?"

"No," he answered honestly, "but if the alternative might be blowing ourselves up…"

"Then let's get on with it."

* * *

Despite their hard work, when the four and a half hours deadline arrived it found them with no control over the weapons system, and no sign of the Daedalus.

The hive ship dropped out of hyperspace and approached rapidly.

"It beat the Daedalus," he said, looking at Rodney in horror, "oh crap, we're going to have to blow ourselves up."

"Not yet we don't," Rodney disagreed, "I have the systems ready to overload, once started it will take one minute to destroy the ship. But I'm not ready to sacrifice our lives just yet, the Daedalus could get here at any moment."

"Okay, okay, so we wait and see what the hive ship does."

They both watched in dread as the hive ship drew closer, and then fired on them. The ship shook violently, and there were small explosions from some of the consoles. Rodney rushed to check what damage had been done, as another salvo hit the ship.

"They've taken out the hyperdrive and are targeting the sublight engines."

Carson had been thrown to the floor, and was getting up again as another salvo hit the ship, forcing him back down.

"Rodney…"

"They've taken out the sublight engines, my guess is they'll go for the weapons next. Better hold on tight."

There was another two salvos in rapid succession, and further explosions occurred on the flight deck. He stayed down and just hoped for the best.

"Can you still cause an overload, Rodney?" he called out, but received no reply. "Rodney?"

He managed to get to his feet, and spotted Rodney down by a burned out console. Quickly, he moved over to him, checking him for further injuries. It looked like Rodney had taken a hit to his head from a piece of debris. Fortunately, McKay came around as he was examining him.

"Oww… damn…"

"Easy."

The hive had stopped firing on them, and Rodney pulled himself to his feet despite Carson's protests, to check on the situation.

"Hive ship… looks like they're going to board us." Rodney murmured, wincing in pain. "I'll start the overload…

He was about to start the sequence when another hyperspace window formed.

"The Daedalus…" Rodney sighed in relief.

"Oh thank goodness," Carson said. For a moment it had looked like all was lost. But now it looked like they were going to get out of this alive. He smiled at Rodney, about to make another comment, and there was another explosion, knocking him off his feet and into darkness.

* * *

"Carson," Rodney called, rushing over to the physician's side. It was clear he had taken a blow to the head, and it looked like he might have some burns on the back of his arms.

Then the communication systems came alive.

"This is the Daedalus, do you copy us, Dr McKay?"

He moved over to the console, sighing in relief when he saw it appeared undamaged.

"Yes, we're here. Can you lock onto our life signs? And make it quick, Carson's unconscious."

"Locking on now… we have three life signs close together, and another seven elsewhere."

"Okay, Carson and I are together. The other one near us is a humanized Wraith. I don't think Beckett will be happy if we leave him here to die…"

"Sorry, sir, but the third life sign has just faded out," came the response.

"Oh," he said, and then he found himself and Carson on the Daedalus' flight deck.

"Fire on the cruiser," Caldwell ordered.

"Firing now…" there was a delay and then, "cruiser is destroyed, sir."

"Open a window and get us out of here."

"Yes, sir."

"Thank you," he said to Caldwell, as a med team moved in on Carson and himself.

"Glad to get you both back alive," the Colonel replied.


	4. Chapter Four: Friendship

**Chapter Four - Friendship **

The Daedalus was on its way back to Atlantis, and Rodney and Carson were being looked after in the infirmary, when Caldwell was contacted by Elizabeth for a report on the condition of her two missing men.

Sheppard, Teyla and Ronon were also present when the call was made, anxious to know how their friends were doing.

"Dr Beckett suffered some minor burns to his arm during the hive ship's attack and a concussion, but I have been assured he will recover quickly. Dr McKay, as you already know, has a broken left arm. He also suffered a concussion during the attack, but a minor one."

"Carson mentioned some wounds that had been infected," Elizabeth prompted.

"Yes. The infection appears to be responding to treatment, but what Dr Beckett did not tell us, as I believe Dr McKay cut him off before he could do so, was that the wounds in question were caused by the Wraith feeding on him."

"Oh crap," whispered John. There was a shocked silence.

"Is he… I mean…" Elizabeth couldn't bring herself to ask the question, but fortunately Caldwell understood what she wanted to know.

"Apparently Michael only took a few weeks from him. It was a demonstration for Dr Beckett as to what would happen if he didn't cooperate. I have been assured that, physically at least, Dr McKay will recover fine. He doesn't look any older."

"That's… good," Elizabeth said quietly, "it sounds like they had a bad time of it."

"True. I have to admit to being impressed that they were able to take over the ship, even if there were only eight Wraith onboard."

"They've proved themselves in the past to be nothing if not resourceful," Elizabeth agreed, with a small smile. "At least they managed to survive and find a way to contact us. The cruiser was destroyed?"

"Yes."

"Then at least Michael is no longer a threat." Teyla stated.

"About the only good thing to come out of this," Sheppard commented sourly.

"How long before you reach Atlantis?" Elizabeth asked.

"Just over three hours. I'll have Dr Beckett and Dr McKay beamed directly to your infirmary."

"Thank you."

Caldwell signed off. The shocked silence descended again, before people moved off to handle the revelation in their own ways.

* * *

Guilt. It was a powerful emotion, and there was plenty of it going around, it seemed. Carson, because he was still blaming himself for the mess the retro-virus had caused, Sheppard, Teyla and Ronon, because they hadn't been able to protect them or find them, or even be involved in their rescue.

As for himself, part of him felt guilty for being used against Carson the way he had, even though most of him knew that was stupid. But as he said, guilt; it was a powerful emotion. And not one that dealt with logic or reason.

He was aware that many people on Atlantis knew he had been fed on. And he hated the look in the eyes of those he'd seen. Pity, or in some cases, curiosity. He sighed. His team didn't look at him like that. Sympathy, unspoken, well except for Teyla, but also guilt. And maybe fear, for him. For how he would cope with this. For whether he would remain on the team, or if this was the final straw, and he'd retreat into his labs.

As if. He needed to go off world, needed to be part of a team. Not that he _wanted _to go into dangerous situations, but being part of a team, a family of sorts, was the best thing to happen to him in a long time. He wasn't about to give that up. Besides, if he did, then it would be like letting Michael take something more from him, and that particular Wraith had already taken more than enough. So, no, he was staying as part of the team.

Of course, he had no idea how he would react the next time he came up against a Wraith. Now that he knew how painful and traumatic the feeding process was, he really didn't know if he could handle being close to a Wraith again. But he needed to be able to cope with it, should a situation like that occur, and with his team's past record, it was highly likely one would.

Talking to Kate would help, a little, perhaps. He knew he had no choice but to see her, it would be mandatory. And hopefully it would help. But he needed more than that, this time. He needed… something more. He just didn't know what.

There was a noise from the bed next to his. He looked over to see Carson opening his eyes. Beckett needed help as well. The guilt was eating away at the man he knew, the man from Antarctica, who had pressed friendship onto him against his will, pushed past his acerbic personality. The only doctor here who usually had the patience to deal with one Rodney McKay, in all his glory.

His friend. He was afraid of losing him, and he was damned if he was going to let it happen. He'd lost too many friends already.

* * *

Back home. That was the first thought that entered his head as he opened his eyes to his infirmary, his domain.

Rodney. That was the second thought that entered his head, and he turned to look for him. He remembered waking up on the Daedalus for a short while. Rodney had been nearby, he'd heard the guy bitching at the doctors. He smiled at the memory. That, if nothing else, had told him that Rodney was going to be okay.

"Carson, you in there?"

"Um…" he looked at Rodney, who was doing his best to hide his concern. Funny how the physicist did that at times. Rarely succeeded though. The man's emotions were clear, especially to those who knew him well. And he knew him well.

"Well, that was enlightening, wasn't it?" Rodney grouched.

"Rodney," he acknowledged his presence, and then the doctor in him woke up, "how you doing?"

"How am I doing? Oh, well now that I have a proper cast on my arm, lots of painkillers, and antibiotics, I'm feeling much, much better."

"Good," he wasn't fooled, Rodney still looked pale and sweaty, but he didn't push it. He tried to sit up, but the combination of a headache and a spinning sensation defeated him.

"You've got a concussion, and some minor burns on your arms," Rodney informed him, "a console blew near you. The Daedalus beamed us out of there before anything worse could happen. Destroyed the cruiser, so Michael and his pals won't be a problem again."

"Oh," he frowned, "what about the one that converted?"

"He died. I don't know how, but his life sign faded out before they could beam us out of there. I suspect he was injured by either debris or an explosion."

He let that sink in, watching the emotions crossing Rodney's face. He wasn't lying to him. The humanized Wraith hadn't been left to die, as he had feared might happen, but had died before rescue came.

"Okay," he said with a sigh, "maybe it was just as well."

"Maybe next time you say that you'll actually mean it."

Trust Rodney to see through that. He had been responsible for the humanized Wraith. And he had failed in that responsibility. More concerned about Rodney and himself, than his other patient. Yet, what could he have done differently? And Rodney was more important to them, to their survival. To him.

"It's not your fault, Carson."

"Isn't it?" he said bitterly, "it certainly seems that way. I should never have created that damn retro-virus. It has caused nothing but trouble. First Ellia, then the Colonel. Then Michael. That was a complete failure, and led to us being blackmailed and then double-crossed by the Wraith. And the camp… and now this. You."

He heard an annoyed sigh from the direction of his friend, and then movement. Looking over, he saw Rodney getting up from his bed, careful of the IVs in his arm.

"Just what the hell do you think you're doing?" he demanded.

"Going for a walk," Rodney replied.

"Get back in that bed…"

"You're not my doctor right now, so forgive me if I ignore you."

"Rodney…"

But by then, the stubborn fool had settled himself onto the foot of Carson's bed, having pulled the IV pole with him. Carson rolled his eyes.

"Why…"

"Shut up and listen for once," Rodney interrupted him, "one; you had no idea Ellia would be stupid enough to take the virus despite hearing you say that it wasn't completed yet." Rodney held up a finger as he made each point, "two; it's not your fault the Colonel was infected. That was just Sheppard's bad luck kicking in. Three; you didn't know the effects of the virus wouldn't be permanent when you injected Michael, that was discovered later in the experiment. And we had no way of knowing he would figure things out. Four; you are not responsible for the actions of the Wraith that used us to get to Earth, and if anyone should be blamed for that, it should be me. I allowed the information to be spread to various terminals, and therefore for their worm to get the information they wanted. And five; you are in no way responsible for Michael's actions this time, or for what he did to me." Rodney paused, looking him straight in the eye, "so, _let it go_, for goodness sake. And if not for goodness sake, then for your own. And the sake of everyone else here."

"It's not that easy," he protested.

"No, I guess not. But you need to start looking at this from other people's points of view. Start getting past that guilt. That unfounded guilt. You were trying to put an end to a war. You had no way of knowing the outcome."

"Oh, aye, good intentions and all that," he muttered, "and you know what they say about good intentions."

"Okay, so…" Rodney paused, obviously thinking deeply, and then looked back at him with a look of triumph in his eyes, "so, when Sheppard woke the Wraith by rescuing Teyla and the others, that was a case of 'good intentions'. Do you blame him for it? For waking the Wraith? Do you think he should have left them to die?"

"No, of course not, you know that."

"So in what way is this different? Sheppard's good intentions, rescuing our people, led to a bad outcome. Your good intentions, trying to neutralize a threat to this galaxy and to Earth, without causing mass destruction of said threat, led to some bad outcomes. It's not like either of you could have guessed what the outcome of your actions would be. If you don't blame Sheppard, then you shouldn't blame yourself."

"I…" he sighed, "it doesn't feel the same."

"Obviously not." Rodney sighed in frustration, "but I can't see much difference myself. Look, all I'm asking is for you to think about it. And I hope you're going to see Heightmeyer about all of this. If I'm going to have to see her, then so should you. Besides, it's what she's there for."

"I guess I should talk to her."

"Good. Because really, I'm the last person for this sort of thing."

"Oh, I don't know, you seem to be doing okay."

Rodney snorted in disbelief, but he could see underneath it that Rodney was secretly pleased by his comment. And it wasn't a lie. Whilst he still felt guilty for everything that had happened, he did feel better. Less guilty than before.

"You should get back into bed," he said with a smile, "you don't want to upset whichever doctor has the bad luck to deal with you whilst I'm incapacitated."

"That would be Biro," Rodney said with a look of dismay, "why do I always end up with Biro when you're ill?"

"Probably because she's the only other one here who can out-stubborn you," he grinned at Rodney's outraged look, and then looked behind him, "too late."

"Dr McKay, what are you doing out of bed?" Came the none too pleased voice of Dr Biro. Carson laughed at the way Rodney jumped, looking briefly alarmed, before settling for annoyed.

"Talking some sense into your boss' stubborn Scottish head."

"And you couldn't have done that from your bed, all the way over here?" Dr Biro said snidely, pointing to Rodney's bed, which was little more that an arm's length away.

Rodney rolled his eyes, and muttered something unflattering under his breath, but allowed himself to be led back to his own bed. Once settled, Dr Biro checked his vitals, and then did the same for Carson.

"So, when do I get out of here?" Carson asked, using his most charming smile.

"Tomorrow at the earliest," Biro replied.

"Och, I feel fine…"

Rodney snorted.

"He tried to sit up, but as you can see, that didn't go too well. White as a sheet comes to mind."

He threw McKay a dirty look, and then turned his smile on Biro again.

"You're worse than Sheppard, and he's bad enough." Biro chided, "put that oh so charming smile away. You're not leaving before tomorrow at the _earliest_." She put extra emphasise on the word 'earliest'.

"Och, now…"

"And don't start. I'm not in the mood to hear your whining. Bad enough I have to listen to his."

"I do not whine." Rodney protested.

"Yes, you do," Carson said before adding, "but I don't."

"Believe me, Carson, you both do." And with that Dr Biro made her exit, glad to get the last word in for once.

"Bossy, stubborn woman," he muttered.

"Maybe you should fire her?" Rodney suggested hopefully.

"Oh no, then who would I stick on you when I'm not around?"

"Great. Thanks."

"Aye, that's what friend are for," he said with a grin.

"Oh, go back to sleep," Rodney grumbled, "it was nice and peaceful until you woke up."

He closed his eyes. Maybe sleep wasn't such a bad idea after all. He turned on his side, facing Rodney, and peeled open one eye.

"You look like you could so with some sleep too," he said, before closing his eye again. He heard a sigh, and then rustling of sheets. He opened an eye briefly, and smiled. Rodney appeared to be taking his advice, for once.

Quiet descended upon the infirmary, much to the relief of Dr Biro and her staff.

* * *

The next day, Carson managed to finagle a release and returned to his quarters to rest. Rodney, however, wasn't so lucky, due to requiring IV antibiotics to fight the last of the infection.

When Sheppard entered the infirmary to check up on his team member and friend, it was to find one very pissed off and bored astrophysicist insisting that he _needed_ his laptop, and that, no, of course he wouldn't overdo it if they let him work for a while. John grinned at that. It was a good sign if McKay was complaining. It meant he was starting to feel better.

"Hey," he said, coming to stand by McKay's bed.

"Colonel," McKay greeted him, and then looked at Dr Biro who was standing nearby. "Could you convince the dragon-lady here to give me my laptop."

"Um, I'm not sure calling her 'the dragon-lady' is putting you on her good side, McKay. In fact, I'm sure it's not."

Rodney rolled his eyes in frustration, and glowered at him.

"Anyway, you don't need your laptop now I'm here." He turned to Biro, "I'll try and keep him out of your hair."

"That would be good, Colonel," Dr Biro said, "he's driving my staff crazy. How Carson puts up with him, I'll never know."

"Hey, I am right here, you know."

"I know," Dr Biro said with a false smile, before turning to leave. "Make sure he stays in that bed. Other than trips to the bathroom, of course. Otherwise, I'll take your next medical instead of Dr Beckett."

"I will," Sheppard said to her retreating back.

"Thank goodness she's gone," McKay muttered, "so, could you get me my laptop?"

"No, I think not."

"You're just scared of her."

"Too right I am." He admitted with a grin, "she sees dead people," he whispered.

"Oh, that's bad, Colonel."

"Yeah, I thought so. So how are you doing?"

"Fine."

"Uh huh. And the truth this time?" He prodded verbally. McKay sighed.

"Better than yesterday. Better than for a few days, in fact."

"Yeah, I can imagine. I'm sorry…"

"If you're about to apologise for Carson and myself getting separated from you and taken, or for not being able to locate us, or even, damn it, for not being on the Daedalus when we were rescued, then don't. It's not your fault. Nor is it Teyla's or Ronon's, and I hope you'll be telling them that soon." Rodney said forcefully, and then gave a sigh, "I've enough dealing with Carson and his misplaced guilt without my team starting with that crap as well."

"Okay," Sheppard said, drawing the word out, "so I guess saying sorry isn't a good idea then?"

"If you were to blame, then yes. But you're not to blame. So, no."

"Alright. Well, with that out of the way, how are you coping with… well…"

"Being fed on?"

"Yeah, that."

"It hurt like hell. But you know that." McKay looked down at his hands, "at least he didn't age me. Well, not noticeably. He said he just took a few weeks. And it didn't last long, not like with you. And it was only the once."

"Yeah, but you know, if I could have…"

"Yeah. I know."

"Damn, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. Well, maybe with the exception of Kolya. I certainly wouldn't have wanted you to go through this. You didn't deserve it."

"Neither did you."

There was silence, awkward. He wasn't sure what to say.

"Sheppard… John…"

The use of his first name by McKay got his attention.

"I'm okay. Well, getting there anyway. Sure, I'm going to have some nightmares from this, and no doubt I'll be visiting Heightmeyer before too long, but I'm okay. And this, it's not going to stop me from going off world. From being part of the team." Rodney paused, "of course, I don't know how well I'll cope when we come across the Wraith again, but…"

"You'll be okay," John said quietly, "because even when you're terrified, you're able to do whatever needs doing for us to survive."

"I hope you're right."

"I know I am," he said, looking McKay in the eyes, "I know you, and I trust you."

He knew he should have said those words sometime ago. He knew McKay was still unsure of his place even all this time after Doranda. And he regretted that he hadn't told him sooner. Regretted a lot of things recently. Including the way he'd treated McKay when Jeannie was around. It had been so easy to tease him, that he hadn't realised that they, the team, had gone too far until it was too late to take it all back. And then they, and himself in particular, had pushed Rodney away, spending more time with Rod, his alternative self, than with him.

"We haven't treated you too well recently," he said quietly, "I know that. It was too easy to tease you with the things Jeannie told us. And Rod… I'm sorry about spending so much time with him."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. We're your team, and we should have stood by you. We should have seen how badly it was affecting you."

"He was easier to get on with than me. I know that."

"Yeah, maybe. But he wasn't you. And what we said, after he was gone, was all true. For a while, it was fun to be around him, but he wasn't you. And I wouldn't have trusted him, not like I trust you. I've known people like him before, friends to everyone on the surface, but in truth, friends to very few, if any. At least you're honest when you deal with people. That's one of the things I like about you.

"We weren't there for you then, and we weren't there for you this time either. I'm sorry about that. I know, I know, there was nothing we could have done to change things this time. It wasn't our fault. But we thought we'd lost you, and Carson. And that just… sucked."

"I'm not good at this friendship thing. Still learning, you know?" Rodney said, "and I'll admit, it was difficult, when Jeannie and Rod were here. It felt like I was losing everything, everyone, I held dear. But I could understand it. I guess, I'm trying to say, it's good to know you still care. That I'm still part of the team. That you trust me. And I'm going to do everything I can not to abuse that trust."

"I know. And this, this feeding, we'll work on it together. Talk to Heightmeyer, but you also talk to me. I know what it's like to be fed on. I've been there, done that, got the scars to prove it."

"Thanks, Colonel. I'll try… I'm just not ready to…"

"That's okay. I'm not too sure I'm ready to talk about it yet, myself. But I will, when you're ready. Maybe we can heal each other, sort of."

"Heal each other? Sounds sappy to me."

"Yeah, but it might just work."

"Maybe."

Just then, Teyla, Ronon and Beckett entered the infirmary, heading towards Sheppard and McKay.

"Hey, Doc, aren't you supposed to be resting in your quarters," he said somewhat loudly.

"Hush." Beckett said, "or next time you're in here I'll make sure Reuben is your nurse."

"Reuben? As in ex-marine Reuben?" McKay said with a shudder.

"Okay, Doc, as far as I'm concerned, you were never here," he also shuddered at the thought of Reuben.

"How are you feeling?" Teyla asked Rodney.

"Fine. Better."

"We have brought you something," Teyla looked to Ronon.

"What?" Rodney asked a little suspiciously.

Ronon opened the bag he was carrying and removed a laptop. Rodney's eyes lit up.

"At last, someone who's not afraid of the dragon-lady."

Carson took the laptop from Ronon, and held it.

"I shouldn't be letting you have this…"

"Oh, come on…"

"…but if it will stop you driving my staff crazy…" Carson gave the laptop to Rodney. "just don't overdo, for goodness sake, or Dr Biro will have my head."

As Rodney fumbled to get the laptop open, Carson leaned over and gave him a helping hand, which made John laugh.

"What?" Carson asked.

"Sorry, Doc, just thinking about you being Rodney's left hand man. Literally. I don't envy you that. He's not known for his patience."

"Aye, that's true. But needs must and all that."

"We managed," Rodney said, "though it would have been faster if Carson could follow instructions better."

Carson rolled his eyes, and muttered about know it alls that couldn't give clear instructions even when their lives depended on it. Rodney chose to ignore him.

John decided a change of topic was probably a good idea, regretting having started this one off.

"So, Carson, have you heard that Teyla's got the hots for one of the new marines…"

The End


End file.
